MORTAL INSTRUMENTS CHATROOM
by betterontheotherside
Summary: exactly what the title says. The gang goes online and chats Magnus attacks Jace's room with glitter, Alec doesn't know why, and Clary doesn't think she's hot enough for Jace.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so I got bored. SO I WROTE ANOTHER CHATROOM FIC! WOOOOOOTTTTT … oh and characters are OOC and ALL MUNDIE. K so anyway, I don't own any of this except for the plot…and I wish I owned Jace but… he's too stupid. El stupido. :) just kidding Jacey babe… you're gorgeous… **

**READ ON!**

**SEXGAWD HAS LOGGED ON**

**CLAREBEAR HAS LOGGED ON**

**ClareBear: **Jace did you change my name AGAIN?

**SexGawd: **Simon threatened to smash the mirror on my head!

**ClareBear: **I wonder why. It isn't like you spent three hours yesterday staring at yourself in the mirror talking about how hot you were

**SexGawd: **it's a fact. Don't deny the facts, my friend.

**ClareBear**: I'm your friend now? What happened to being your girlfriend? AM I NOT HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU NOW?

**SexGawd**: By the angel Clary, are you okay?

**BEAUTYQWEEN HAS LOGGED ON**

**SexGawd**: ISABELLE YOU GOT MAGNUS DRUNK AGAIN! NOW HE'S THROWING GLITTER EVERYWHERE!

**ClareBear:** I think I'm going to go help Magnus :)

**SexGawd:** HE'S THROWING SPARKLES ON MY WALLS

**ClareBear**: Izzy you have to see this! JACE IS HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN! Where are you?

**BEAUTYQWEEN:** at the mall ;)

**ClareBear: **Jace I hope you like the colour I chose for Magnus to use in your room! ;)

**SexGawd:** MY WALLS! MY _WHITE _BEAUTIFUL WALLS! TELL MAGNUS TO STOOOPPP…. NO WHY PINK? CLARY WHY?

**ClareBear**: Magnus told Alec to get online! mwahahahaha

**CUDDLEBUNNY HAS LOGGED ON**

**SexGawd:** Magnus got a hold of Alec's account again..

**CUDDLEBUNNY:** ugh not again

**ClareBear**: hehehehe Jace don't runnnn…

**SexGawd:** WHY IS MAGNUS TRYING TO PUT A SKIRT ON ME?

**ClareBear:** aweee! Izzy I'll send you a picture he looks so cute.. awe baby!

**SexGawd:** ALEC GET YOUR BOYFRIEND OUT OF MY ROOM!

'**I SPARKLE MORE THAN EDWARD CULLEN' HAS LOGGED ON**

**CUDDLEBUNNY HAS LOGGED OFF**

**ALECLIGHTWOOD HAS LOGGED ON**

**SexGawd:** finally Magnus leaves my room alone…I can't look at the walls their too bright

**ISPARKLE:** hey Jace how do you like your room?

**SexGawd:** I love it. I love it more than Fang loves Max. I love it more than Edward loves Bella. I love it more than Isabelle loves Gucci. I love it more than Peeta loves Katniss. Which by the way, isn't fair. NO I DON'T LOVE IT YOU IDIOT WHY WOULD YOU PUT BLUE GLITTER ON WHITE WALLS? AND YOU TORE DOWN MY ROOM WHY IS ISABELLE'S BRA ON MY BED? WHY ARE MY SOCKS IN MY BOXERS DRAWER CLEAN IT UP!

**(A/N: hehe okay yes. I had to make Jace a Team Gale guy AND a neat freak, because in the books he is ;) oh yesh)**

**ISPARKLE:** I knew you would love it Jace

**ALECLIGHTWOOD:** Magnus stop

**ISPARKLE:** why? This is fun! Jace is yelling at me

**ALECLIGHTWOOD:** that's WHY you have to stop!

**SexGawd:** CLARY HELP ME PLEASE. HELP ME! MAGNUS IS TRYING TO PUT SPARKLES IN _MY HAIR_

**ISPARKLE:** I think we need more sparkles.

**ClareBear:** maybe later Jace. You know, you're cute like that.

**SexGawd:** I'm always cute, what are you talking about?

**ISPARKLE**: hey Clary I need some more SPARKLES

**ClareBear:** gotta go. I'm going to help Magnus!

**CLAREBEAR** HAS LOGGED OUT

'**I SPARKLE MORE THAN EDWARD CULLEN' HAS LOGGED OUT**

**SexGawd:** DO I MATTER TO ANYONE ANYMORE?

**ALECLIGHTWOOD:** you never mattered to anyone at anytime. So forget the 'anymore' part and we're good. ;)

**DRAMAQWEEN:** oh sorry babes! I forgot I was talking to you. Maia showed me this TOTALLY awesome Gucci purse and it's to DIE for! OMG it's so cute I'm going to die omg omg omg! GOTTA GO BYE

**DRAMAQWEEN HAS LOGGED OUT**

**ALECLIGHTWOOD:** well, bye Jace. Magnus is making kissy faces at me…

**Sexgawd:** HELP ME! CLARY JUST BROUGHT OUT A LITRE OF GLITTER! MAGNUS JUST _DUMPED IT ON MY HEAD._

**ALECLIGHTWOOD:** you're not the only one with problems f lkjsk a;d ahlie oh hf kjhkdhfk sorry hfkljda Magnus is tickling me! dfija;ldj f;l BYE JACE BYE DFJHSDJHF SHDJHF

**ALECLIGHTWOOD HAS LOGGED OUT**

**SexGawd:** Damn. You.

**SEXGAWD HAS LOGGED OUT**

**HEY! SO DID YA LIKEY? I THOUGHT IT WAS WEIRD. :) because I'm normal like that, my friends. SO ANYWAY, REVIEW IF YOU LIKED IT (and should I continue?)AND IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, you can review, but NO FLAMES PLEASE! :) **

**LUV YA**

**~TEAMJACEWAYLAND~**


	2. OHMYGOSH JACE SHUT THE HELL UP!

**OKAY SO, NEXT CHAP ;) THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! OMG I can't **_**Believe **_**how many reviews I got for 'Jace doesn't know who Peeta is!' fanfic and the 'Jace and Sexy and he KNOWS IT' fanfic got **_**so **_**many favouriters and reviews! I am SOOOO happy you all liked it! I got a lot more followers because of 'Jace doesn't know who Peeta is!'. So…. Yes! This is another chapter! I'm really glad you all liked the first chapter! ;) (mwahaha now it is RAGE time!) oh and, Jamie Campbell Bower will be playing as Jace in the movie. I. hate. Him. Jamie can act, sure, but he is NOT what Jace Wayland looks like in a lot of people's minds. In my mind, Jace Wayland looks like Alex Pettyfer when he was a teenager. (yeah cause now hes like thirty xD) Oh but I think Lily Collins will be perfect for Clary! ANYWAY, **

**READ. ON. NOW.**

**CLAREBEAR HAS LOGGED ON**

**SEXGAWD HAS LOGGED ON**

**RATFACE HAS LOGGED ON**

**RatFace: **Hey Clary

**ClareBear: **Hey Simon!

**SexGawd: **hey babe

**ClareBear: **no.

**SexGawd: **what?

**ClareBear: **don't call me babe.

**RatFace: **ooohhh Wayland just got REJECTED

**SexGawd: **no.

**ClareBear: **hehe just kidding Jace…

**SexGawd: **k

**RatFace: **something is wrong with Jace. He isn't arguing.

**ClareBear: **he spent seven hours in the shower yesterday washing off the glitter. I think the water got to him

**SexGawd: **k

**RatFace: **you're right Clary. His mind has been poisoned by water.

**ClareBear: **not funny

**SexGawd: **k

**ClareBear: **Jace turn that down!

**SexGawd: **No. It's a good song :D

**RatFace: **Whaaatt?

**ClareBear: **JACE IS LISTENING TO JUSTING BEIBER! MY EEEAARRRSS!

**RatFace: ***throws up* Jace that is disgusting how could you hurt Clary like this?

**ClareBear: **JACE SHUT IT OFF! SHUUTTT ITTT OOFFFFFF

**SexGawd: **BABY, BABY, BABY, OOOHHH….

**ClareBear: **STOP! STOP JACE!

**RatFace: **Justin Bieber is worse than death

**SexGawd: **NOOOOOO JB IS AWESOME!

**ClareBear: **ISABELLE!

**SexGawd: **I'm not Isabelle. I'm Jace

**ClareBear: **Isabelle get off Jace's account!

**RatFace: **Izzy can I have a kiss?

**SEXGAWD HAS LOGGED OFF**

**RATFACE HAS LOGGED OFF**

**SEXGAWD HAS LOGGEN ON**

**ClareBear: **Jace…?

**SexGawd: **hey babe

**ClareBear: **do you happen to like JB?

**SexGawd: **HELL NO CLARY. HE IS TORTURE

**ClareBear: **I agree…hey…what song is that?

**SexGawd: **I'm describing myself through music

**ClareBear: **:/ it's Everybody Loves me.

**SexGawd: **ONEREPUBLIC FTW!

**ClareBear: **No, Hedley is better!

**SexGawd: **WHHAAAATTT?

**ClareBear: **that's right.

**SexGawd: **Hedley's okay…

**ClareBear: **so how's your sparkly room coming along?

**SexGawd: **don't even..

**ClareBear: **I knew you loved it

**SexGawd: **no I don't

**ClareBear: **yes you do! Admit you do..

**SexGawd: **But I don't

**ClareBear: **I know where you're ticklish… :^)

**SexGawd: **NO! NO. NOOO

**ClareBear: **ADMIT THAT HEDLEY IS BETTER.

**SexGawd: **NEVA! MWAHAHAHHAAHA HEHEHEHEHE…

**ClareBear: **:O Magnus really needs to stop giving you drinks, Jace

**SexGawd: **hehehehe WHY?

**ClareBear: **You are acting crazy!

**SexGawd: **EVERYBODY LOVES ME! Hmm… I just threw Alec's goldfish out of the window! :D FLY FISH, FLY! _FLY, YOU STUPID FISH! _

**ClareBear: **godamit. FISH DON'T FLY!

**SexGawd: **what? Yes they do. Butterflies don't fly! You are getting fish confused with butterflies. Fish fly, and butterflies swim.

**ClareBear: **I have officially given up.

**SexGawd: **NANANANANANANANA I AM A ROCK STAR I GOT MY ROCK MOVES AND I DON'T NEED YOUUUUU SO WHAT… oooohhhh Clary why do you have a fluffy thing in your room?

**ClareBear: **Idiot! Shut up and PUT MY HAMSTER DOWN!

**SexGawd: **WEEEEEEEE nooooo it is not a hamster. It is a parrot.

**ClareBear: **PUT. THE HAMSTER. _DOWN._

**SexGawd: **whyyyyy? It is making squeaky sounds! IT _MUST _BE A PARROT. HEHEHEHEHE HAHAHAHHA :D

**CLareBear: **OKAY WHATEVER! PARROT. IT IS A PARROT. HAPPY? NOW PUT THE PARROT DOWN!

**SexGawd: **hehehe.. okay.

**ClareBear: **Jace I will be home in a few minutes. Lie down and sleep until I get home and don't break ANYTHING. and that includes all electronics, the bed, the wall, and ground, all vases, all books, all food, all televisions, all refrigerators, all bathrooms, all toilets, and yes. It also includes pickles.

**SexGawd: **But I can't sleep! THEY ARE WATCHING ME!

**ClareBear: **who is watching you?

**SexGawd: **THEM! _THEY _ARE!

**ClareBear: **WHO? I AM GETTING IRRITATED! JACE STOP BEING SO FRKN ANNOYING!

**SexGawd: **the sparkly fairies! They are on to me!

**ClareBear: **Jacey I loooovvee you, and as your girlfriend, I am saying this: YOU SCREWED UP IDIOT SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND SLEEP!

**SexGawd: **:'( that is mean

**ClareBear: **Sorry baby go to sleep I'm almost at the Institute. I'll be there when you wake up

**SexGawd: **I see pretty rainbows and sparkly unicorns! WEEEEEE!

**ClareBear: **I have one thousand five hundred and twenty six different ways to torture Magnus to a slow and painful death that has just popped into my mind. Magnus will pay for making me go through this. :/

**SexGawd: **I'm tired Clares. Nighty night :D

**ClareBear: **night! Go to sleep. Now. Bye.

**SEXGAWD HAS LOGGED OFF**

**ClareBear: **and now I'm home… crap.

**CLAREBEAR HAS LOGGED OFF**

**HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OKAY…. So I don't blame you if you thought that this chapter was boring and totally fluffy and romantic. I'm sorry! I was feeling… hmm… fluffable. Mwahaha yesh. Jace and Clary fluff is so cute and I can't find it anywhere these days! EVERY. SINGLE. CLACE FIC HAS LEMON! So annoying. X( I don't have anything against you if you enjoy lemons though, but sometimes I like fluff only, you know? Wellllll…. This chaps done! Oh, and I really did not mean to offend JB lovers in this chap… and omg I LOVE HEDLEY! 3333 OH OH ONE LIFFEE…**

**Hope you liked the story… :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey Everyone! Got lotsa great reviews…but… I only got like, two. :/ come on! I NEED more reviews! Pweaseeee :3 Anywho… guess what! I found out how tall Jace is! :D (I have been wondering for a while…) Jace is six feet tall, Magnus is six foot three, and Alec is six foot one. Your welcome. And .GAWD. The Dark Artifices! New series Cassandra Clare is working on omgomgomgomgomgomg I am going to dieeeee! :D 2015 won't come fast enough… andddd, City of Lost Souls is coming out soon! May8! Just like barely one more month... kekeke so excited! ANDDDD, If you use Tumblr, you know that Chapter One of CoLS was POSTED ONILNE! OH AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ONE DIRECTION AND HEDLEY AND ADAM LAMBERT. :) just sayin. Oh, and I got some hate for liking Adam Lambert because he's gay. Uhhhh guiz, that's just mean. Gay people are human, not creatures. They shouldn't be treated like garbage. They are people who have feelings, and if you hate or dislike them, **_**you're **_**the one who's got issues. ANYWHO, enough Author's Notes. It's time to have some fun with Chairman Meow and Jace… ;) oolala mwahahaha what shall happen? **

**SEXGAWD HAS LOGGED ON**

**IMMACATANDYOUKNOWIT HAS LOGGED ON**

**SexGawd: **Immacatandyouknowit?

**ImmaCat: **Hello Jace :)

**SexGawd: **and who is this?

**ImmaCat: **Well, it's upsetting that you don't know me. You stepped on my tail yesterday and said I was stupid!

**SexGawd: **Your **tail?**

**ImmaCat: **someone tell me you are not that stupid.

**SexGawd: **Magnus messed up on one of his spells again didn't he?

**ImmaCat: **yes! He was casting spells and glitter was everywhere! It was so pretty! And something happened, and it hit me and hurt me a little bit but now I can make words with this black device that has buttons on it!

**SexGawd: **That's called a keyboard.

**ImmaCat: **that's cool! Uh oh. Magnus on his computer again. Sometimes there's weird noises coming from his computer and I want to watch but he doesn't let me :(

**SexGawd: **weird noises…?

**ImmaCat: **yep! I think it is called moaning in human language.

**SexGawd: **you know, I think I'm going to call Alec to check Magnus's history on the internet.

**ImmaCat: **Anyway, it was not nice how you stepped on me yesterday

**SexGawd: **I didn't goddamn see you!

**ImmaCat: **YOU'RE BLIND?

**SexGawd: **what? No I'm not blind!

**ImmaCat: **YOUR BLIND OH NO DOES CLARY KNOW SHE WILL BE UPSET ABOUT THIS UH OH

**SexGawd: **IM NOT BLIND

**ImmaCat: **YOUR BLIND AAANNNDDD YOUR GOING THROUGH DENIAL! OH DEAR WE MUST CALL THE PARAMEDICS ABOUT THIS

**SexGawd: **WHAT? WHY?

**ImmaCat: **I DON'T KNOW, ASK HARRY STYLES

**SexGawd: **who?

**ImmaCat: **it's a boy band that Magnus likes. I think they are called Two…three…one….One Direction? Yes, One Direction. 1D for short.

**SexGawd: **that is a horrible name.

**ImmaCat: **YOU ARE BLIND

**SexGawd: **no, im not.

**CLAREBEAR HAS LOGGED ON**

**Clarebear: **someone tell me what's going on… apparently Jace is blind?

**SexGawd: **NOOOOOOOO..

**ClareBear: **you better be blind. Izzy's mad because you didn't notice her new haircut.

**SexGawd: **horrid.

**ClareBear: **remember what happened LAST time?

**ImmaCat: **ohhh whut happened?

**SexGawd: **I still don't think my man parts are healed.

**ImmaCat: **hehe… Isabelle hit you down there?

**SexGawd: **repeatedly.

**ClareBear: **he was crying tears in the end. I think Magnus recorded it…. ohhh I have to ask…

**SexGawd: **I wasn't exactly crying… and anyway, MY BALLS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE KICKED OVER FIFTY TIMES. I WAS ABOUT TO DIE WHILE YOU JUST STOOD THERE STARING AT ME. And Magnus didn't record it… he said he didn't!

**ClareBear: **I didn't just stand there. I got you an ice pack and I told Izzy to stop after she kicked you like three times. And I was there while you were lying there going UNNGGGGG OWWWW GAHHHHHHHHH THIS IS WORSE THAN FIGHTING A DEMONNN… and then I was the one who woke you up after you PASSED OUT.

**SexGawd: **I don't remember passing out…

**ClareBear: **it was funny

**SexGawd: **love you too. Wait… Magnus said he didn't record it…

**ClareBear: **never take Magnus's word for anything

**ImmaCat: **it's true. I had to feed myself for a whole week once! Maggie said he was going to buy some more cat food but he didn't and I was stuck eating dead mice and birdies! I DON'T WANT TO KILL DEM!

**ClareBear: **SHITTTTTT… why is there a talking CAT

**SexGawd: **dunno. Why doesn't your hamster fly?

**ClareBear: **because it's a HAMSTER.

**ImmaCat: **this one time I saw a flying fish.

**SexGawd: **what happened to it?

**ImmaCat: **I ate it.

**ClareBear: **how thoughtful of you.

**SexGawd: **THAT POOR FISH! HE PROBABLY HAD A FAMILY. AND YOU KILLED IT. FISH MURDERER. HOW COULD YOU?

**ClareBear: **calm…keep calm…

**SexGawd: **WHAT IF IT HAD KIDS? AND A WIFE? Unless it was a girl, then it might have had a husband, unless it was a lesbian wait can fish be homosexual? I'm pretty sure they can wait let me check well it doesn't really make sense I guess but it COULD have been a lesbian fish.

**ImmaCat: **I still think Jace is blind.

**ClareBear: **you know what? I'm going to go now.

**SexGawd: **I think fish CAN be homosexual. Like really. Wait, how do they mate and have children? I wonder if a fish ever been raped before. Oh no what if that poor flying fish was raped before? That would explain why it was flying.

**ImmaCat: **Maggie is coming! Goodbye Jace! (I called the paramedics. They're coming soon)

**SexGawd: **maybe the fish was raped. Or maybe it just had a normal family. Now I'm sad. Byebye I need to do some research on homosexual fish.

**ClareBear: **Gotta go… bye…

**Okay, now pretend I wrote that they all logged off, because I'm just too lazy. This chapter is horrible. Homosexual fish and a talking cat who insists that Jace is blind. I love my ideas. Oh, and my friend and I made a parody of Hedley's song, One Life, and it's about Mangoes. We did Mangoes because Jace likes Mangoes. And so we made a song about it. Should I post it? Should I not post it? Should I continue this horrible chatroom? Should I stop? IT'S UP TO YOU! CAN I GET SOME REVIEWS? :) love you allllllllll**

**TeamOneDirectionandHedley**** TeamJaceWayland ~**


	4. Chapter 4

**ER…um… so this chatroom fic, yeah… I guess I was just a little bit high when I wrote it… some of my friends read this and showed it to me saying that the person who wrote this was mentally challenged and then I told them me and my other friend wrote it and they slowly backed away whistling. -_- thanks. Anyway, I'm discontinuing this fanfic cause it's pointless shit and stuff, yeah? Cause I was high on crack or something when I wrote it. Anyway, thanks for all the help and views :) **

**Love you all and stuff like that**

**Cause what do you want me to do**

**Write a deep poem or something**

**K here.**

**Roses are red**

**Violets are blue.**

**Orca whales are fat.**

**And so are… you?**

**Hehehehe im kidding! I love you all!**

**:) byessssss...**


End file.
